Leaders Breathe First

Should leaders breathe last, too?

Servant leadership began with a noble impulse. But somewhere along the way, it got twisted into a quiet expectation that running on fumes is a sign of good leadership. That leadership is proven through exhaustion. That if you are not depleted, you must not care enough. Nonsense.

The Oxygen Mask principle states that you apply your mask first before helping others apply theirs. It’s sound advice for leaders: you need to take care of yourself so that you can lead, support, and develop others.

Notice that the principle does not tell you to hoard the oxygen for yourself or neglect those struggling to apply their masks. You apply your mask so that you can take care of others. You take care of yourself so that you can serve your company and employees.

Imagine if you reversed the order. You might help one or two people, and then the need to breathe would take over, hijacking your judgment and compromising your motor skills. You would let down those counting on you to do your job of getting oxygen to people; others would have to pick up the slack, and you would soon collapse.

Sadly, this very mindset is undermining many organizations, as leaders become servants rather than serving.

According to a 2023 Harvard Business Review study, over half of the leaders surveyed reported feeling burned out at work. When you struggle for air, you undermine your capacity and are unable to contribute your best. What kind of example is that?

Here are some Leaders Breathe First practices that will sustain your ability to serve your company, people, and community.

Protect Your Thinking Time

Most leaders do not burn out because they lack effort. They burn out because they lack space. If you have no time to think, you will spend your days reacting. And reaction feels productive, but it is usually just survival dressed up in meetings and to-do lists. Then you try to do your job after hours, exhausted. Why is it okay to expect people to perform their best while you are at your worst in doing what they rely on you to do?

Breathing first means defending time for reflection, strategy, and judgment. Block time during the day so you can be at your best when doing what only you can do.

Bill Gates famously took “Think Weeks,” stepping away from the noise to sharpen his long-term perspective. Warren Buffett spends much of his day reading and thinking, not rushing from crisis to crisis. Dwight Eisenhower famously triaged work by its importance and urgency (the Eisenhower Matrix). Serious leaders schedule oxygen.

Set Boundaries That Make You More Useful

A leader without boundaries becomes a bottleneck with a calendar. Breathing first means saying no to extraneous matters so you can say yes to what matters most. This is not selfishness. It is stewardship.

Steve Jobs was relentless about focus, reminding us that deciding what not to do is just as important as deciding what to do. Andy Grove taught that leaders must manage time like capital, invested with intent rather than spent in fragments. Boundaries are not walls that shut people out. They are guardrails that keep you effective by establishing where you end and others begin, and what you will allow into your system and what you’ll keep out.

Build Renewal Into Your System

Leadership is not a sprint. It is endurance. Breathing first means planning recovery the way athletes do.

LeBron James invests heavily in sleep and restoration because performance requires renewal. Arianna Huffington became a public advocate for sleep after collapsing from exhaustion. Jeff Weiner, former CEO of LinkedIn, scheduled buffer time between meetings so he could arrive at each one focused, rather than replaying scenes from the previous meeting in his head.

Build in time for rest and mental and emotional resets. You’ll find that you are more present, alert, and useful during your meetings and your productive time.

Share the Load Instead of Carrying the World

“Hands-on” leadership may seem heroic, but it creates dependence and makes you the bottleneck that obstructs progress and growth. Carrying everything doesn’t prove your commitment. It proves you have built codependent martyrdom.

Breathing first means delegating with empowering oversight, developing others so the organization can move without your constant presence. You find that you get more done because people solve problems and try new things without you micromanaging them or constantly needing your permission.

Their confidence grows as their judgment strengthens. Your company moves from sequential activity (with your inbox as the jam) to concurrent activity, so you get exponentially more done in the same amount of time.

General George Marshall empowered subordinates across WWII because no single leader can carry a war alone. Satya Nadella transformed Microsoft by shifting from control to empowerment.

Choose Your Response

You are an emotional weather system. If you are anxious, rushed, or depleted, you spread it. If you are grounded, you spread that too. Breathing first means regulating yourself before you try to regulate the room.

Nelson Mandela embodied disciplined calm under immense pressure. Admiral James Stockdale survived years of captivity through inner discipline.

Practices such as guided meditation, exercise, and yoga allow every atom in your body to breathe. You expand. You control your emotions rather than being controlled by them; you respond to circumstances that move things forward rather than react and create a downward spiral.

“Leaders Breathe First” is not about putting yourself above others. It is about refusing to collapse on them. You do not serve your people by running out of oxygen. You serve them by staying strong enough to lead and contributing your best when you are at your best.

So take the first breath. Protect your mind. Guard your energy. Renew your strength. Empower your team. Choose your response. You’ll find that your example spreads and your employees take care of themselves, too, so they can contribute their best.

Nobody wants a leader who eats last as virtue signaling or becomes subservient. Your employees want a leader who can serve through thick and thin. They want a leader who can breathe.