I used to think that a proper butt-chewing was the right way to nip bad behavior in the bud. Confront the person, chastise them for the behavior, berate them about why they shouldn’t do it again, and end with “Do you understand!?” 

I discovered that this approach had little positive impact and significant downsides. The person who misbehaved intentionally just had to stand there and take it. Often, there was little in the way of corrective or remedial action, and people often felt humiliated. I saw numerous repeat offenses and had to escalate the consequences.

Rarely was there any emotional connection for the individual between what they did and how they affected others.

The people affected by the misbehavior didn’t receive much in the way of redress, only my reassurance that I had spoken with the individual. 

I learned a different approach that I’ll call Constructive Accountability, which has been a game-changer for me and my clients, and will be for you, too.

What Is Constructive Accountability?

Constructive Accountability connects the person who violated your behavioral standards with the impact of their actions and the opportunity to make it right. 

Misbehavior includes violating a known standard, such as being late or negligent, or treating someone poorly. The Pressure Gauge is a superb tool to make your standards crystal clear.

Note that some misbehavior may require immediate dismissal. Most sub-par actions, however, fall short of that, but the behavior often goes unaddressed. This situation perpetuates bad habits and creates resentment.

Instead of lecturing the person, do this:

1. Identify the behavior: “Jim, you were thirty minutes late today.” 
2. Ask the person to explain the impact of their behavior: “What was the impact of your late arrival on your co-workers and customers?” This question gets them to connect emotionally with the impact of their behavior.
3. “How will you make it right?” This question provides the person with the opportunity to ameliorate the impact of their actions. The approach respects their sovereignty and opens the door to creativity.

Once you agree on the remediation, the person should follow through on their actions. They are unlikely to repeat the misbehavior because they have come to grips with the consequences and made amends. 

If they refuse to make amends, fire them because they are consciously opting out of your culture. 

What about extenuating circumstances? What if they had a valid reason for being late, for example? 

Use the same process. Notice that you are not issuing reprimands or humiliating people. You are asking them about the impact and how they plan to make it right. 

This approach takes you out of the judge role and into the role of connecting people emotionally to your company’s standards. When people take ownership of their actions and consequences, they demonstrate commitment to your culture and to being a good co-worker.