How can you attract the right people and prevent problems from escalating in your business? 

The most reliable way I’ve found is to follow the principle of reflected reciprocation. You get back what you put out. Your heart collects what your mind projects.

We are watching the opposite play out in Minneapolis.

Enforcing immigration law is the responsibility of the executive branch. Doing so with competence, respect, and common sense is the right standard.

ICE officials face constant harassment from people opposed to their mission. Peaceful protest is a constitutional right. Deliberately provocative behavior is something else. It heightens risk for everyone involved, and those who encourage it bear responsibility for the consequences.

An investigation will clarify the facts surrounding the shooting. Perhaps the officer feared for their safety or the safety of others. Still, this situation should not have escalated to a needless loss of life.

Downward spirals rarely start with a single act. They grow through reflected behavior.

I have seen the opposite dynamic work powerfully in Afghanistan and in business. Going positive and going first invites similar behavior in others. What comes back is usually a mirror of what you put out.

The exceptions prove the rule.

You can enforce standards and serve customers in ways that build commitment, loyalty, and respect. In so doing, your company will be admired by citizens, employees, customers, partners, and even competitors.

Here are five low-cost, high-payoff ways to put reflected reciprocation to work.

Take Off Your Masks First 

Masks send the wrong signals. People hide their faces when they are ashamed. Masks increase apprehension and uncertainty about intent. They also foster a sense of impunity, increasing the risk of bad behavior.

In Afghanistan, our soldiers removed sunglasses and face coverings, and often helmets, when engaging locals. We believed that pointing guns at people and tearing through their homes would fuel resentment. Treating people with dignity would invite positive reciprocity.

We were right. Ninety-eight percent of the population responded positively. We built allies with them and handled the remaining 2% by exception. That approach motivated a major insurgent group to stop fighting and switch sides.

Business masks have similar effects. Anonymous employees are harder to hold accountable. Distant leaders care less about their people, which erodes performance, development, and retention. Bullying rises with physical and emotional detachment.

Outside of Hollywood, it is hard to think of anyone on the right side of an issue who hides their face.

You can protect employees from harassment while still making them visible and human to customers.

What masks are your people wearing? How clearly do customers and employees know who to turn to for help?

Be Accountable 

Samuel Johnson once said that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. He was deeply patriotic himself. His warning was about using lofty language to excuse corruption, incompetence, and moral failure.

Labels work the same way. Calling someone a terrorist or a fascist can become a shortcut that justifies bad behavior on your own side.

Leaders should back their people and give them the benefit of the doubt. The customer is not always right. Protesters are not always right. Officials are not always right either.

Treating citizens poorly breeds resentment. Provoking law enforcement is dangerous. Leaders on all sides should set the example.

Publish clear standards for how employees treat customers and how customers are expected to treat employees. Live those standards before expecting others to follow them. Do the same internally between managers and staff.

Clear standards reduce bad behavior across the board.

How well do your codes of conduct advance your mission?

Video: Supportive Accountability.

Hire for Common Good Fit 

Your common good includes your mission, goals, and standards. A wrong-fit hire damages morale, degrades performance, and accelerates turnover.

Organizations that carry weapons have an added duty of care. Most ICE officials want to serve honorably under difficult conditions. The risk is that authority and force can attract the wrong people if hiring is sloppy.

Clear performance and behavior standards act as a powerful filter. People who share your standards are drawn in. Misfits tend to self-select out.

How precisely do you define what right looks like and what is unacceptable?

Ensure Competence 

Mission pressure can push unprepared people into critical roles. The Wall Street Journal has reported extensively on how poor tactics at ICE checkpoints and traffic stops have increased danger for everyone involved.

The military does this well. Each rank has defined competencies. First-line leaders are trained, present, and continuously developing their people. Leader presence reduces error and accelerates learning.

Growing businesses face similar risks. Rapid hiring and promotion demand strong onboarding and on-the-job training. A common mistake is promoting your best salesperson to sales manager without training. That often ruins two jobs instead of improving one.

How intentionally are you preparing your managers for their current and future responsibilities?

Video: The 3-Discipline Leadership System™.

Build Relationships 

People give you the benefit of the doubt when they know you as a human being.

The mutual accusations coming out of Minneapolis are likely to fuel further escalation. Each side is mirroring the other.

I would welcome a joint statement that sets clear behavioral standards and a joint effort to curb threatening behavior. Protecting lives and property is shared ground. Disagreement is inevitable. Conflict is optional.

Relationships require investment. Community involvement builds reputation. Knowing employees as people increases ownership and discretionary effort. Treating customers and suppliers well turns them into ambassadors.

How invested are you in your community, your customers, and your people?

Video: Managing Workplace Conflict.

Reflected reciprocation is at work in Minneapolis and elsewhere. It will keep spiraling as long as each side waits for the other to change.

The spiral stops when leaders police their own ranks and build bridges for the common good.

Who will have the courage to go positive first?