Tag Archive for: culture

3 Ways to Use The Lasso Effect to Improve your Leadership

3 Ways to Use The Lasso Effect to Improve your Leadership

/in /by

Ted Lasso leadership isn’t possible in real life.

Ted Lasso is a person of reflexive positivity who remains blissfully ignorant of the job and yet wins everyone over while consistently losing games.

Ted Lasso is not a mentor, he’s a mirror, showing us our own absurdity.

WHY IT MATTERS: When we see what’s wrong, we can fix it. 

Mirror Image #1: Be confident in your ignorance of other people’s motives.

Team owner, Rebecca, hired Ted to coach an English Premier League football team (Americans call the sport soccer) after Ted’s American college football team won a national championship. 

She wanted the team to become a laughingstock to get back at her philandering ex-husband. 

Any sane person would have walked off the job after being sabotaged repeatedly. 

Ted did the unexpected, emotionally connecting with Rebecca in daily “biscuits with the boss,” treating her with kindness despite her frostiness (which she used to hide deep hurt), and respecting her professionally.

You never know what someone is going through, so give them a break. Who knows, maybe they’ll become your biggest champion and strongest ally.

Mirror Image #2: Don’t take the bait; Take the high road.

Today’s polarization revolves around a need to show moral superiority over anyone who disagrees with you.

After Ted helped the team’s equipment assistant, Nate Shelley, discover his game-strategy genius, the latter stabbed his coach in the back and took a head-coaching job at a rival team (hired by Rebecca’s ex-husband). 

Nate’s team won consistently, even as he took cheap shots at Ted, who only treated Nate with respect. 

A security camera caught Nate sneaking into the team’s locker room to tear up Ted’s “Believe” sign. When the two teams met on the pitch, Ted’s assistants decided to show the video to the team at half-time to boost their motivation, even after Ted warned them not to do so.

The video unhinged the team, who wanted revenge and played even more poorly in the second half.

Nate’s deep insecurity motivates him to insult Ted; Ted rolls with the punches and deflects the disparagement with self-effacing humor. 

The need to show your moral superiority is a sign of insecurity and a fast track to getting nothing noteworthy done because you alienate the other side. 

Keep calm and find common ground. It’s hard to roll up your sleeves while wringing your hands.

Mirror Image #3: You cannot show courage when there’s no danger.

Ted engages with people who disagree with him. He talks with irate, insult-hurling fans, welcomes a reporter known for hatchet jobs to do an exclusive on the team, handles prima-donna players by letting them wear themselves out, and never shifts blame.  

He’s willing to put himself in emotional, professional, and moral danger to do the right thing.

Courage, Aristotle said, is the virtue that allows the others to exist. You must be in the arena, doing your best even when the outcome is in doubt, and be willing to take off the body armor and grow. 

Twitter mobs and demagogues are the opposite of courage because they are playing to the crowd, safely ensconced in their own bubbles. 

Pop your bubble; step away from your silo; get out of your comfort zone. You make more progress building bridges than building walls. 

I loved the final episode when Ted asked Trent to change the name of the book title about the team, “It wasn’t about me, it never was.” 

Who’s your mirror? Gaining new perspectives is one of the greatest values of using coaches and advisers. 

Are you ready to see how a trusted advisor can help you achieve your goals? Schedule a call with Chris here. 

Founder's forum
exclusive events
Wisconsin Red Cross Brave Hearts award gala.

What are you doing to recognize your Heroes?

/in , , /by

I recently attended the Wisconsin Red Cross Brave Hearts award gala, grateful to receive the military award for last fall’s 1700-mile Fallen Hero Honor Ride.

The stories of the award recipients were extraordinary. I met a 9-year-old girl who saved a friend’s life at school using the Heimlich and a sixteen-year-old who engineered a blood drive after last year’s Waukesha tragedy. 

One recipient, noting that many clients weren’t getting regular health check-ups, added a doctor’s office to his barbershop to ease comfort and access. Inspiring was the 911 operator who kept a person calm after her car went into the water of a freezing lake until first responders rescued her, and so was the woman who stopped her car after seeing an elderly lady collapse on a busy street, keeping her safe until the ambulance arrived.

A Milwaukee police detective was off-duty getting a bite to eat when a gunman robbed someone and then tried to get into a car with children in the back. The detective distracted the robber from the kids and was shot twice in the abdomen. As he lay wounded in the street after protecting children, he had the presence of mind to call in the vehicle license plate as the attacker tried to escape in another car. 

An image of Chris Kolenda accepting the military award for last fall’s 1700-mile Fallen Hero Honor Ride at the the Wisconsin Red Cross Brave Hearts award gala.
Above: Chris Kolenda accepting the military award for last fall’s 1700-mile Fallen Hero Honor Ride at the Wisconsin Red Cross Brave Hearts award gala.

These are extraordinary examples, and I bet you have people in your company going above and beyond, doing something special for another person, and making people feel appreciated. These people are zappers – they give you energy and help you soar to new heights.

What steps do you take to recognize and appreciate them?

Our minds are so tuned to threats and risks (the amygdala) that we can pass over the everyday good people do. 

When that happens, you miss an opportunity to highlight examples of your values in action. People tune in to what you praise as well as what you criticize. Your employees want to receive appreciation, so they will adopt the positive behaviors you bring to their attention. 

Sadly, many leaders ignore the awesome and treat uncovering a problem as discovering buried treasure. 

You have to nip problems in the bud, or they grow. 

You will have fewer problems and more success when you treat discovering awesomeness as joyful eureka moments and dispassionately dispatch awful behavior.

Who’s been a hero in your company today? I would love to hear about them! Send me an email and tell me more about your hero!

schedule a call with chris
courageous coaching
Determination is a Powerful Tool

Determination is a Powerful Tool

/in , /by

Podcast: Perseverance and Determination

My parents, David and Joanne, and three siblings—Dan, Laura and Mark—all taught me the importance of perseverance and determination, the will to succeed at whatever you put your mind to. We would always challenge one another to be the best that we could be.

Determination helped me endure some terrible experiences.

I learned that I needed to use them to empower me … or else be destroyed by them.

In this podcast you will discover:

  1. Ways to surround yourself with the right people, so that you will be challenged to be your best
  2. Ideas on how to emerge stronger from terrible experiences, so that you can empower others
  3. How to use empathy, so that your team can learn and grow in a dynamic situation
  4. Insights on Determination, so that you have a guide for when to stick to your guns and when to make a bold change

How Did You Start Using Your Talents?

I was a skinny and awkward kid. By the time I got to high school, I was bullied by classmates and molested by two priests. West Point was a place where I was exposed to many different opportunities. I decided I was going to do the toughest and most difficult things I could possibly do — like boxing and close quarters combat — because I was never going to go through again what I experienced in high school. And that led to Airborne School and Assault Ranger School—some of the toughest schooling and assignments that the Army had. I was also determined that no one in the units I led would have to feel the way I had. As a consultant, I help leaders make sure that the most vulnerable people in their organizations have the confidence and back-up to contribute their best. 

The Most Impactful Turning Point?

Some of the best role models and mentors I had were from the history department at West Point and were either infantry or armor officers. Because of their personal example—the way they taught and led and cared for the students in their classes—they truly inspired me to want to be like them when I became an officer in the Army. I decided that I wanted to come back to West Point and teach one day because I aspired to do the same thing for other cadets that these fine men did for me.

The Most Powerful Lesson Learned?

I learned several essential lessons from my parents and siblings: the importance of perseverance and determination along with the will to succeed at whatever you put your mind to. We would always challenge each other to be the best we could be. Another key lesson from a great teacher I had in high school was the value of honoring each person, including myself, and the vital importance of empathy.

Steps to Success from Christopher D. Kolenda, Ph.D.

  1. Use perseverance and determination, along with the will to succeed, to achieve whatever you put your mind to.
  2. Find a group of people where you can challenge each other to be the best you can be.
  3. Honor each person, including yourself.
  4. Learn to be empathetic, to see things from the eyes of others; seek to understand, first, then to be understood.

Click Here to Listen to the Entire Podcast

Did you enjoy the podcast? What was your top takeaway? Write a comment, DM me on LinkedIn, or email me at chris@strategicleadersacademy.com.

schedule a call with chris
courageous coaching
A handshake after a tennis match no matter the outcome

Don’t Base Success on the Outcome

/in , /by

The Bucks and Bruins show why you should not fixate on outcomes.

You shouldn’t compete to win.

The teams with the best regular season records in basketball (Milwaukee Bucks) and hockey (Boston Bruins) lost in the first round of their respective playoffs. Not a single #1 seed in Men’s College basketball made it past the Sweet-16.

Are they failures?

I love Buck’s star Giannis Antetokounmpo’s answer to this question: these setbacks are steps to future success. 

You compete to get better, not just to win. 

WHY IT MATTERS: You cannot control outcomes in most sports or business because other factors are at play. Assessing a season or someone’s job performance based on outcomes makes you prone to mistakes. 

When you judge success solely on outcomes, chances are you reward luck and punish excellence.

You can’t necessarily control outcomes, but you can control the processes you use. You are better off evaluating how and how well your subordinates executed their processes, and consider outcomes as a guide to whether your processes are sound. 

This double-axis chart shows why.

Plenty of people and organizations get good short-term outcomes despite faulty processes. WeWork and FTX are recent examples of luck, good timing, a rising tide lifting all boats.

When the tide went out, everyone saw they were skinny-dipping.

Bad processes and bad outcomes are like someone getting their just desserts. The leaders in these organizations tend to have poor support networks and follow bad decisions with stupid decisions.

The lower right quadrant is most interesting. You can have a good process but not get the outcomes that you want. Sometimes the cause is bad luck. A competitor made a smart move; a new technology arose; a pandemic hit; Jimmy Butler scored fifty points in game 4 and hit an improbable buzzer-beater in game 5.

You also might have a great process that does not work in your situation. When I was doing some work with the Cleveland Browns, one of the coaches told me that he worked at Army in the 1980s when I went to school. We went 2-9 my freshman year.

The head coach got the staff together and said, “this is our fault.” They were using a pro-style offense that worked in other places but not with service-academy athletes. They switched to a better talent-to-offense match, the wish-bone, and went 8-3-1 the next year.

You might also have some implementation challenges to address.

You’d be foolish to fire someone who executed the processes you approved simply because they did not achieve the outcomes you wanted. 

The upper right seems like the happy place – good processes and good outcomes. The key here is to avoid complacency. Sears had good processes and good outcomes, so did Blockbuster and ToyRUs. They stopped innovating and are now out of business.

You might also have some implementation challenges to address.

You’d be foolish to fire someone who executed the processes you approved simply because they did not achieve the outcomes you wanted. 

The upper right seems like the happy place – good processes and good outcomes. The key here is to avoid complacency. Sears had good processes and good outcomes, so did Blockbuster and ToyRUs. They stopped innovating and are now out of business.

Compete to get better instead of fixating on wins and losses.

Evaluate people on how well they execute what’s under their control and not on external factors they cannot.

Use outcomes to expose gaps and implementation failures in your processes; address those, and don’t overreact to bad luck.

What is your top takeaway from this article? Write a comment, DM me on LinkedIn, or email me at chris@strategicleadersacademy.com.

P.S. Golfers say that a double-bogey is a bad shot followed by a stupid one. The Bucks followed a bad playoff experience with a worse decision in firing their head coach, Mike Budenholzer. 

schedule a call with chris
courageous coaching
diversity

Biden’s Supreme Court pick shows that Diversity is more Than Skin Deep

/in , , , , /by

Physical diversity is what you can see; cognitive and experiential are below the waterline.

I am proud of President Biden for announcing that he will nominate a Black woman for the Supreme Court (he torpedoed President George W. Bush’s 2003 effort to appoint a Black woman). Organizations tend to be more legitimate when they reflect the demographics of the communities they serve, and there are plenty of Black women who will be superb justices in America’s highest court.

I hope he picks a truly diverse candidate — one from outside the Ivy League bubble. Diversity is more than skin deep. Physical diversity is only one element of a powerful triad. Like an iceberg, physical diversity is what you can see; cognitive and experiential are below the waterline.

People’s hardwiring affects how they lead organizations, solve problems, and deal with risk

The PROM archetypes(TM) illustrate the differences.

Like Malcolm X and General George Patton, Pioneers are tactical innovators who rally people behind new ideas and changes. 

Reconcilers (like Abraham Lincoln and Dwight Eisenhower) manage consensus and keep people on board. 

Operators (George Washington and Indra Nooyi, for example) make the trains run on time and get things done – like Steve Jobs and Alexander Hamilton.

Mavericks are your strategic innovators who solve complex, wicked problems. (Get your PROM Archetype here).

Many large organizations show the dangers of homogeneity. The military and government, for instance, love detail-oriented people and tend to resist idea-centric people. By the time a year-group reaches senior ranks, most of the Pioneers and Mavericks have gotten drummed out or left in frustration, leaving a disproportionate number of Reconcilers and Operators. The latter self-perpetuate by selecting and promoting people who think and act like them, a problem called affinity bias. Poor strategic innovation in recent wars shows the consequences of poor cognitive diversity.

Personal experiences matter

John McWhorter shows that socio-economic circumstances are far more potent in shaping perspectives than race or gender. People tend to share worldviews with people raised and educated in similar situations. Veterans who’ve experienced intense combat have points of view different from citizens who have not. If you’ve fought your way from poverty to the middle class, you are likely to have different outlooks than colleagues who’ve been middle-class suburbanites their whole lives.

When making policies or strategies that affect people of varying circumstances, these perspectives matter. Ideas that seem sound within an elite bubble can come across as condescending or ham-fisted to those outside of it. Some progressives cannot fathom why people view “woke” as revenge racism that’s ripping society apart. Even San Franciscans seem to have had enough, recalling three uber-woke school board members. At the same time, some conservatives don’t get the outrage after calling the January 6th riot legitimate political discourse. They cannot seem to resist stepping on the 2020 election rake. Experiential diversity helps you avoid inhaling your own gas.

It’s time to get beyond the view that diversity only involves chromosomes. Leaders like you perform best when people among all parts of the diversity triad work together toward the common good.

What’s the next step in building your diversity triad?

Building your Chest – Exclusive Events

The next Antietam & Gettysburg exclusive event takes place March 15-18. This program is for seven leaders and consultants who want to turbocharge 2022 with innovations that move you from competitive to better and distinct. We use critical points on the battlefield to discuss decision-making, gaining buy-in, improving agency and initiative, and how to avoid getting high off the smell of your own gunpowder. We finish with an innovation workshop to develop action steps to gain decisive competitive advantages. There is one space left. Your investment (including food and lodging) is $4500 until February 21 and $5500 after that. Spouses or significant others welcome.

The Hudson Valley in the Revolution (July 27-30) focuses on people-centric innovation. We’ll travel to Fort Ticonderoga on beautiful Lake Champlain, the famous Saratoga battlefield, the majestic garrison at West Point, and the Stony Point battlefield. Most threats to an organization’s success come from within, and this challenge was true for the Continental Army. We’ll use the history to discuss practical ways to address toxic workplace behaviors, engage and retain your top talent, inspire people to contribute their best to your team’s success, and many others. You’ll build new thought leadership that will be game-changers for your clients and employees.









benevolence

A Boost in Benevolence is Key to Retaining Your Employees

/in , , , , /by

A robust culture and foundational trust cannot exist without benevolence.

When preparing for a 1:1 meeting with a Team member, I felt my stress levels heighten as I searched for ways to preserve my sense of self and uphold my integrity. I put a smile on my face even though I knew this person would dig for gossip and potentially twist anything I said into a “sky-is-falling” dramatic sentiment. Often, this person had a way of exposing my vulnerabilities. I replayed our conversations over and over to make sure that I didn’t say or do anything that this person could use against me in the future. I spent way too much mental capacity planning and debriefing after meeting with this individual.

This relationship was the opposite of benevolence. I was not confident that this individual had my best interest at heart.

Benevolence means we are not using mental and emotional energy worrying about the other individuals in our Team. It means that we will practice mutual kindness and have well-meaning intentions with our words and actions. A benevolent workplace equates to a trusting culture. Simply put, a workplace will turn toxic without benevolence.

If you lay a strong foundation of benevolence and your Team buys in, imagine how much less time people have to worry about looking behind their backs. Now your team can look forward and move your company to greater heights.

As a leader, how are you cultivating benevolence?

Actions steps to boost benevolence in your workplace:

  • Ensure a mutual attitude of well-meaning intentions: If you have to explicitly tell someone on your Team that your sentiments come from a place of respect and kindness, then do it. If something doesn’t come across as well-meaning, you can ask, “please help me to understand what you mean by that.” Don’t build up negative assumptions about the interaction. Stewing in anger and resentment does not build strong teams
  • Eliminate exposure of others’ weaknesses: If someone on your Team is struggling, have a 1:1 with them—don’t call them out in front of their peers. If you see this happen, stop it immediately. What you permit, you promote. Don’t be a boss who lets toxic behavior occur under your nose. Only bullies exploit the weak. Build your Team up instead of tearing them down.
  • Talk to your Team about benevolence: Explain to your Team that you would rather they spend their time on productivity, efficiency, and finding joy in their job than worrying about if they said or did the wrong thing during yesterday’s meeting. Ask them to be forward-focused and put their mental capacities toward constructive and innovative ideas.

Laura Colbert Consulting Programs

  • The Trusted Advisor Program is my most intensive 1-on-1 program. Within 90 days, you’ll gain habits that create breakthrough success. You get personalized coaching and support, relentless accountability, and commonsense action steps that get results.

Additional Offerings:
Join our central Wisconsin in-person or online Impactful Leadership Lunch. Join like-minded leaders during this monthly mastermind lunch group to improve your business efficiency, boost employee retention, and get you focused on doing what gives you joy.

Are you looking for a Keynote Speaker at your next event? I use my past experiences and knowledge to show you how to be the best version of yourself, surround yourself with the right people, and build highly productive teams.

Book:
Sirens: How to Pee Standing Up – An alarming memoir of combat and coming back home. This book depicts the time of war and its aftermath. It seamlessly bridges the civilian and military divide and offers clarity to moral injury and post-traumatic stress.

laura.colbert@strategicleadersacademy.com

Get this newsletter delivered to your inbox. Click Here.

Sign up for a free quick coaching session here to see if we’re a good fit.

How Are You…

/in , /by

Jeff Marquez recently authored this piece on LinkedIn.

Message from the Middle Whether you are a CEO, president, owner, or Mid-Leader, the answers to these three questions reveal a lot about your leadership and organization. Unless you are the CEO, president, or owner, you are a Mid-Leader at some level. The answers reveal how you are taking care of your Mid-Leaders and how your boss is taking care of you.

Never suffer from vague values again

/in , , , /by

I chuckle every time I meet a science-defying person on the sidewalk who hurriedly pulls up their mask when approaching and pushes it down after we pass. 

The probability of catching COVID while passing someone on the sidewalk is equivalent to being killed by a lightning strike. Over a year into the pandemic, this behavior reflects virtue-signaling rather than values. 

Virtue-signalling, like the facades on a Saddam Hussein palace, obscures the realities within. CEO hang-wringing apologia about diversity last year often resulted in no follow-through or change. Harvard business review articles show that most diversity training makes things worse. Still, CEOs throw money at the failed approaches. Plato described the behavior as “seeming over being.” 

You want values that work, and you want what you value to be working. 

Business values are behavioral norms that guide your profitable customer-centric solutions. Some are internal-facing, oriented on how people work together, while others are external-facing to expand your base of loyal customers. The true tests of your values are whether they are profitable for your business, your employees, and your customers. 

If your values set specific behavioral norms that lead to profitable customer-centric solutions, you are going to gain delightful customers and attract employees who will do what’s right, the right way, without you having to micro-manage. Vague values, on the other hand, are slogans that create cynicism. 

The vital step is to set business values that work. To help you do so, I’m hosting the “Never Suffer from Vague Values Again” do-in-ar with leadership expert Jan Rutherford on June 2 at 1:00 pm US Central. 

You’ll come away from the event knowing precisely how to set values that are the right fit for your business.

Here’s the game-plan: 20 minutes of format with Jan; 20 minutes working on your values assignment; 20 minutes of advice and support from Jan and me.

To get the meeting link, please donate to your favorite charity and email me (chris@strategicleadersacademy.com) to me know you’ve done so (I use the honor system, so your word is good enough).

P.S. VALUE-ADDING Leadership(TM) is a master program for leaders and entrepreneurs who want to inspire people to contribute their best and drive the business to new heights. The next program begins in mid-May. More here.

Message from the Middle – Dealing with Toxic and Difficult People

/in , , /by

Jeff Marquez recently authored this article on LinkedIn.

Do you have a jerk, bully, or slacker among you? Like weeds, you have to manage or prune away their behaviors. Chances are the face of a person is coming to mind. What feelings does this person evoke–stress, negativity, anxiety, or anger? Their toxic behavior is harmful to your Team. So how do you deal with difficult or toxic people? Step one is to determine the observable actions and behavior of such an individual and the effects on your organization. Then what?

My colleague and friend Chris Kolenda teamed up with executive coach, international best-selling author, and former FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer Mark Goulston, M.D., to share ways to deal with toxic behavior. It was pure gold.

Mark described a typical approach of a toxic person. They charm, frustrate, anger, and outrage you in that order. They use innuendos, and when you respond to it, they got you. Instead, look them in the eye and listen for a question. Then and only then do you respond. He says, “expect difficult people to be difficult, expect them to push or prod.” When they do, he advises holding a little bit of yourself back. They often do not have substance because they rely on provocation.

I have had the unfortunate experience of a toxic boss, and Mark described their behavior to a tee. Now, here you are in the throes of chaos, in the moment, face to face with the toxic one. What do you? Mark says pause and say to yourself, “opportunity for poise,” and do the following three steps:

1. Do not act on the first thought that comes to mind because it is your defense.

2. Do not act on the second thought that comes to mind because it is your attack or retaliation mode.

3. Act on the third because it is getting closer to solution mode.

I reflected on my experience and how I thought that the boss was just having a bad day. That day turned into weeks, then months. Toxic behavior can cause tremendous damage ranging from losing employees, decreased productivity, losing sleep, and impacts on family and loved ones. To prevent or minimize the damage, Mark offered the following ways to deal with a toxic or difficult boss, employee, or peer.

The Boss – If you have a difficult boss, use what Mark calls assertive humility. The tone is important, so a bit of emotion might be necessary.

1. Approach him or her with, “I need your help with something that is affecting my results. When would be a good time to talk?” He or she is likely geared toward results, so they will be curious.

2. At the time, find something positive, flatter them. “Do you know how smart you are in ______ (goal setting, vision…pick something they do well)?” They will become disarmed.

3. Tell them you are bringing that up because you do not want them to distract others from the potential that the specific skill or talent can bring to the organization. In other words, their toxic or difficult behavior is distracting and preventing employees from seeing the boss’s skills and talent.

4. If necessary, follow up with, “You have a little control of what you say and how you say it, but you have no control of how it is heard. I and others have observed that you are triggering flashbacks in people. Those flashbacks are not always positive like an angry parent, and they can be tough for people to work around. Try to trigger flashbacks that are positive and remind others of a positive parent, coach, or mentor.” 

5. Finish it with, “You have no idea what kind of productivity you can get from people who, when you trigger them, either want to kill themselves or kill you. And you turn them into people who want to kill for you. It will blow your mind!”

Employee – If you have a difficult employee, again, use assertive humility with the appropriate tone. 

1. Approach him or her with, “I need your help with something.”

2. Then say, “I’m really getting close to rooting against you, and it pains me. In fact, I do not want to work with anyone in this company I do not root for. The reason I’m getting close to rooting against you is because…” and tell them of the observed toxic or difficult behaviors.

3. Let them know that you do not believe that is the person they really are, that they are better than that. “Let’s consider this a wake-up call conversation that could lead to another one because if I get to a point where I am rooting against you, we will have to make changes.”

Peer – If you have a difficult peer or colleague, use assertive humility with tone.

1. Tell them, “I am getting really close to avoiding you. And I do not want to avoid you. It is bad for our Team and for our cooperation.”

2. Say, “The reason I am close to wanting to avoid you, why I am having this conversation is…” and tell them of the observed toxic or difficult behaviors.

3. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Let them know that you do not believe that is who they are or that something must be triggering them. “Instead of taking on the behavior of avoiding you, and I am not the only one, I am bringing it to your attention.”

Finally, Mark has a formula worthy of remembering: aggression + principle=conviction and aggression – principle=hostility. “Conviction makes you strong; hostility makes you wild.” If you have toxic or difficult people among you, manage or prune away the behavior. Let these tactics help you confront them, and get you back to focusing on your powerful Team and sustainable success.