Tag Archive for: Accountability

Hidden Accountability Tools Leaders Overlook

The Hidden Accountability Tools Leaders Overlook

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Stop Giving Up Your Best Accountability Tools.

“You shouldn’t reward people for simply doing their jobs,” the Deputy Chief said, “It’s like participation trophies – everyone gets one, so they’re meaningless.”

The Deputy is correct, but not for the reasons he assumes. 

Leaders tend to think of reward and punishment as their primary accountability tools. You reward people for extraordinary performance with bonuses, promotions, and other awards and punish or penalize them for gross standards violations.

This approach addresses only the extremes because the tools are finite and must be used sparingly.

Thus, you leave the critical middle ground—between substandard and subpar—unaddressed, where accountability makes the biggest difference.

Accountability means to be answerable to and for. You are answerable to your bosses, employees, peers, and partners. You are answerable for meeting standards. If used correctly, it’s your primary tool for improving future performance.

Between reward and punishment are two powerful tools in infinite supply: appreciation and correction. You use them to recognize to-standard and address sub-par.

People want to be seen and heard. When you recognize good performance with your appreciation, you encourage that person and everyone around them to repeat the behavior.

When you adjust sub-par behavior by focusing on how to do it better next time, you nip problems in the bud before they become bad habits that require penalties or punishment.

Use this approach:

  1. Appreciation.
    • Recognize the behavior: I saw you doing this; I noticed you doing that, etc.
    • Note the impact: Doing this has had these positive results/benefits/outcomes.
    • Express your appreciation for their contribution.
  2. Correction.
    • Recognize the behavior: I saw you doing this; I noticed you doing that, etc.
    • Note the impact: Doing this has had these consequences.
    • Discuss how to do it better next time. 

Your generous application of these tools will raise your company’s overall performance and attract and retain the right people who buy into your standards.

P.S. This tool is one of the many you will have in your arsenal when you take my trademarked programs: Becoming a WHY Leader®: Six Habits that Inspire People to Contribute their Best and Building an Inspiring Culture®. 

You get the biggest payoff when you use the programs with your direct reports so you are on the same page, can communicate better, and have a standard array of tools to address opportunities and challenges.

Your leader development program must prepare leaders for tomorrow’s challenges, not just today’s. Schedule a call to discuss positioning your subordinate leaders for success.

What Surgery Taught Me About Rule- Breaking - Chris Kolenda

What Surgery Taught Me About Rule-Breaking

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How often does rule-breaking occur in your business? Probably more than you’d care to admit.

Americans are avid rule-breakers. I think it’s in our DNA or the water or both. Many people came to America because they didn’t like their home country’s rules. Americans defy scolding self-appointed elites. Don’t tread on me.

We brought the Boston Tea Party, the Declaration of Independence, and a revolution that stirred other rule-breakers into action. During the Cold War, Soviet military officers feared the American military’s unpredictability: “The American military is so hard to understand because they have a doctrine, but they don’t follow it.”

Skepticism about OPR—Other People’s Rules—is pervasive and probably happens more often than you’d like in your business.

I had surgery recently to repair several nose injuries I suffered in the Army that impeded my breathing. (Cue the wisecracks about the lack of oxygen in my brain, which explains a lot.) 

A nurse called before the surgery, giving me all sorts of dos and don’ts: no eating, drinking, or smoking cigars after 9 p.m. the evening before, take a shower, do not apply facial or hair products, etc.

Which of these rules are really necessary? The nurses tend not to explain why, which invites people to push the boundaries. What happens if I take the last cigar puff at 10:30 pm (which I did)? What’s the magic behind fasting for 12 hours before surgery? Why isn’t it six or twenty-four? No water, seriously? Won’t dehydration undermine recovery? What happens if I resort to rule-breaking?

I woke up at 6:30 am, drank the 4 ounces of water left in a bottle, showered (out of respect for the surgeons and nurses), and otherwise maintained my fast.

After slipping on my hospital gown, the anesthesiologist arrived to let me know how they would put me under. He asked when I last had something to eat or drink. I had finished dinner at 7 pm yesterday and drank 4 ounces of water at 0630. 

The time was 8:30, and the doctor said, “Water takes about two hours to run through your system, so we are ok. Some people experience nausea under anesthesia, so we want to make sure your stomach is empty because you can die of suffocation if you vomit.” 

Now I get it. The doctor gave me vivid details on why patients should fast and for how long. If I ever have another surgery, I’ll be sure to stop eating 12 hours beforehand and not drink water two hours beforehand. 

I could deduce the logic behind most rules, but not all of them. People are more likely to skirt the rules when they don’t get the logic. Respect for the rules signals a healthy business, so you want people to follow your standards voluntarily. Buy–in makes accountability much more manageable.

Here’s how you can improve voluntary compliance with your standards:

  • Use the “X so that Y” formula to describe your standards. “Don’t drink water for two hours before your surgery so that you don’t choke on your own vomit from the anesthesia,” for example.
  • If you cannot describe a compelling Y for a given rule, you have good reason to discard or modify it. There’s no reason I couldn’t drink some water early that morning, even though the nurse said nothing after 9 pm. The rule seemed ludicrous, and it was. Resist the urge to add excessive safety buffers, or people will stop taking your rules seriously.
  • When it comes to adding or modifying standards, enlist the people most affected by them in co-creation. People tend not to design self-defeating rules, so that you will have automatic buy-in for co-created ones.
  • Encourage your employees to ask “why” about your standards, which is a good forcing function for you to ensure the Y part of “X so that Y” is compelling. 

When I started asking doctors and nurses the why behind their do’s and don’ts, I got better and more customized responses. 

The best leaders are humble about their rules. Just because you say a given rule is important does not mean people believe you, especially if you don’t obey the rule yourself. 

Make your rules explicit, make them count, and eliminate the ones that have outlived their usefulness.

If you are ready to take your culture to the next level, I have some excellent options. 

First, you can join my Building an Inspiring Culture® program in the self-directed or live-led versions. You’ll receive short, crisp videos, clear step-by-step processes, and implementation assignments to apply the lessons at work.

A workshop is a second option. In it, I will walk you through the tools that build an inspiring culture and help you apply them in ways that work for you and your business.

Finally, an off-site retreat can be a powerful experience for you and your team to strengthen trust, streamline communication, and create shared understanding. My clients love doing them outside at battlefields or national parks.

Manager getting burned out at work

The Problem with “Servant Leadership”

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There are many reasons for increased manager burnout. I want to call attention to a particularly pernicious problem: servant leadership.

Like many people, especially in the military, I regarded “servant” as the highest form of leadership [selfless service is one of the Army’s values.]. 

After all, leading includes service to a higher purpose, the organization, and the people in it. Seventy percent of Fortune 500 companies reportedly say they practice servant leadership.

Well, servant leadership burned me out. 

I was wrong to advance an unexamined piece of conventional wisdom, and I encourage you to rethink it and focus simply on being a good leader.

Do you worry about burnout? You are not alone. According to Harvard Business Review, over 50% of managers feel burned out. 

Burned-out managers exhibit behaviors that degrade their performance, well-being, and the overall health of their teams and organizations. These include:

  • Decreased productivity
  • Increased irritability
  • Poor decisions
  • Self-neglect
  • Lower creativity
  • Less appreciation of employee efforts
  • Increased absenteeism
  • Poor communication

According to Merriam-Webster, a servant is “a person in the employ and subject to the direction or control of an individual or company.” A servant lacks agency. The implications are significant.

Ripe for Abuse. Almost anything goes when “the cause” is the highest good. 

“I want you to stay until 10 pm tonight to work on this presentation.” 

“But it’s my anniversary, and I promised to go to dinner with my wife.”

“I’m sorry about the timing. I really need you to work on this. You are a servant leader in this company, so you have to sacrifice for the greater good.”

Reliance on selfless service and servant leadership is a common way to cover up poor planning, sloppy time management, bullying, and other dysfunctional behaviors.

No Boundaries. As a selflessly serving servant, you have to be “on” at all times. Responsiveness is vital. When your boss texts you at 11 pm on Saturday night, you had better reply within minutes.

Dinner with your family? Storytime with your kids? Softball game? You’d better have your phone ready to answer your boss’s call.

When one of your employees is stressed out, you take on their emotional burdens and workload. You’ll do anything to serve your people.

Constantly prioritizing the needs of others emotionally and physically drains you. That’s what your company demands when they tell you to be a servant leader.

Denial of Self. There can be no self for those who serve selflessly. As a servant leader, you are expected to neglect your own well-being because everyone and everything else comes first. You need to go everywhere, do everything, be everyone for everyone. 

I’ve lived this life, and it costs me and my loved ones. I thought it was the price of being a leader. I tried not to pass on this mentality to my direct reports, encouraging them to set boundaries and take care of themselves, but my personal example sent mixed messages.

Yes, serving is part of leading, but so are requirements like making tough decisions, enforcing standards, and firing people. It can be exhausting, and you need to be vigilant about your capacity and energy to lead the way your company and people deserve and to be the kind of parent, sibling, friend, etc., that your loved ones deserve. 

Here’s What to do instead

Be a leader; forget the label. Use your judgment. Focus on being a good leader who inspires people to contribute their best to your organization’s success. Sometimes, the good of the organization comes first; other times, the needs of the individuals rise to the top. As I note in Leadership: The Warrior’s Art, Be trustworthy, treat people with respect, and be a good steward of your company.

Encourage the Gas Mask Principle. When facing a drop in cabin pressure or a chemical attack, apply your mask before attempting to help others. Otherwise, you put yourself and the person you are trying to help at greater risk. Spend time with your loved ones, sleep, eat right, exercise, and do important things outside of work. Encourage your employees to do the same.

Co-create boundaries that you and your direct reports respect. My mentor, Michèle Flournoy, explained how she and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates did this together and its impact on her and her family. Gates famously left the office by 5:30 pm daily because he knew that staying late encouraged others to do so, even if they had little to do but be seen. 

Provide Perspective. Most matters can wait until the next morning or next week. If you have to write that email tonight to get it off your mind, time it to send tomorrow morning. By sending it tonight, you encourage people to respond tonight. You won’t sprint your way to completing a marathon.

Manage Exceptions. There are rare times when you need that late night. When you respect boundaries and encourage people to take care of themselves and have a life outside their work, they will rise to the occasion when a crisis hits, and you need all hands on deck.

Culture

Your Culture Doesn’t Eat Anything for Breakfast

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The saying, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast,” attributed to Peter Drucker, suggests culture is your top priority. 

You know culture is important to cultivate, but where should it rank among your priorities in leading your organization and strengthening its purpose and direction? 

I love taking on popular nonsense, and this one needs addressing. 

Culture doesn’t eat breakfast, and it certainly doesn’t eat strategy.

Culture and Strategy are peers alongside Leadership, and you need all three working together to succeed.

These factors are interdependent and create a framework that supports growth, resilience, and competitive advantage. 

Leadership is the driving force behind an organization’s mission and objectives. It influences the strategic direction, sets the tone for culture, and motivates employees to perform at their best.

Apple’s Steve Jobs’ clear vision was critical in driving innovation and maintaining a competitive edge.

At Wells Fargo, the creation of fake customer accounts by employees was a direct result of toxic leadership behavior that prioritized sales targets over ethical behavior, leading to widespread dissatisfaction and demotivation.

Uber experienced high turnover rates and public scandals, which highlighted a failure to address workplace harassment and discrimination.

Culture embodies the values, norms, and practices that dictate how employees interact and work together. A positive culture fosters engagement, loyalty, and productivity, ensuring the collaborative pursuit of strategic goals.

Google’s emphasis on innovation and employee well-being has enabled it to attract top talent, drive continuous innovation, and maintain high employee satisfaction.

Enron collapsed from a culture of secrecy and poor internal communication, where unethical practices were hidden from employees and stakeholders.

Blockbuster’s resistance to change and innovation prevented it from adapting to the digital streaming revolution, resulting in its downfall.

The strategy involves setting the organization’s purpose and direction and inspiring plans to achieve them so you can navigate the competitive landscape and adapt to market changes.

Amazon’s strategic focus on customer obsession, operational efficiency, and innovation has allowed it to expand rapidly and dominate various markets.

Toys “R” Us failed to address the rise of e-commerce and changing consumer preferences.

Xerox invested heavily in its PARC research center without effectively commercializing the innovations, which led to missed opportunities in the technology market.

Each element—leadership, culture, and strategy—plays a unique and essential role in an organization’s success. The absence of any one of these factors can lead to specific challenges, even if the other two elements are strong. Recognizing these indicators can help organizations identify and address their weaknesses, ensuring a more balanced and effective approach to achieving their goals.

Here’s how you can identify when one of these elements is missing.

Stagnation indicates inadequate leadership. Employees may feel directionless despite having a supportive culture and clear strategies. There is no one to inspire them toward achieving strategic goals, and no one makes bold decisions, resulting in missed opportunities.

Low Morale and High Turnover suggest you need to strengthen your culture. Even with strong leadership and a clear strategy, a toxic or weak culture can lead to employee dissatisfaction and disengagement. People will vote with their feet, and those who remain struggle with execution and performance.

A lack of focus and direction indicates that strategy is missing. Despite having inspiring leaders and a positive culture, the organization may struggle with setting and achieving long-term goals, resulting in drift, confusion, and waste.

Here’s what happens when you have all three working together. 

  • Alignment: Leadership ensures that the strategy supports the organization’s vision and that the culture advances strategic initiatives.
  • Execution: Culture drives how strategy is executed. A positive culture promotes collaboration, innovation, and commitment, which are vital for successful strategy implementation.
  • Sustainable Growth: Leadership and culture together ensure that strategic initiatives are sustainable over the long term, adapting to changes and overcoming challenges effectively.

An organization needs strong leadership to set a vision and inspire action, a positive culture to create a supportive and engaging work environment, and a clear strategy to provide direction and prioritize efforts. The absence of any one of these elements weakens the whole structure, making it difficult to achieve and sustain success. The interplay among leadership, culture, and strategy creates a synergistic effect that drives performance and ensures long-term viability.

Chris Kolenda: The FDIC scandal shows that you promote what you permit in your work environment

The FDIC scandal shows that you promote what you permit in your work environment

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How consciously do you assess your culture? 

Sometimes, leaders assume that what they say leads to the implementation they want, but they don’t have a sound process for checking. This fire-and-forget method of conveying expectations can create significant gaps in what you believe is happening versus what’s actually happening.

Other leaders lack awareness of how others see them. In such cases, you tend to see your own actions in the best possible light, while your employees see them much differently. Over time, resentment builds as you give yourself a pass for violating your own standards. This seems to be the case at the FDIC.

A Wall Street Journal investigation described a culture of bullying, sexual harassment, and discrimination at the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), alleging Chairman Martin Gruenburg modeled much of that toxic behavior.

An independent investigator corroborated the WSJ report, and the House Financial Services Committee directed Gruenburg to testify about the work environment. A Senate Committee is doing the same.

Gruenburg resigned but said he’d stay in place until a successor was named. People reportedly fear a successor won’t be named and the resignation was a head fake to reduce the negative attention. 

Here’s how you can avoid this situation.

Leaders often unintentionally promote or permit toxic behavior. Poor emotional trigger management leading to outbursts is not uncommon, and leaders often dismiss their behavior as isolated incidents while their employees perceive a damaging pattern.  

Poor self-awareness creates significant disconnects between how you see yourself and how your employees see you.

Inadequate accountability turns isolated incidents into behavioral habits, as leaders look the other way and rationalize lousy behavior (he’s a jerk, but he gets results). Bullying, harassment, gaslighting, and other tactics become normal, creating a toxic work environment like the one reported at the FDIC.

Two simple measures can help you avoid the FDIC’s situation.

First, you need periodic, candid assessments of how people perceive you and their workplace so you can avoid blindsides, uncover festering issues, and take action. I encourage leaders to use a simple, 10-14-question tool like this one, which I can customize for you. 

Having a trusted agent conduct focus group discussions and individual interviews based on the survey results will get you as close to the ground truth as possible.

Your next step, which too many leaders miss, is to give feedback on the feedback. Discuss the results and what people urge you to sustain and improve. Decide what you will tackle, track progress, and keep people informed. 

Do this every 90 days, and your credibility will soar because people see you taking action. Their suggestions will be more detailed in future surveys because they know you take their feedback seriously.

Second, define your behavioral standards using a tool I call the dance floor. You want clarity on what’s right and what’s out of bounds. Here’s an example of Respect.

Too often, leaders are content with platitudes that offer little concrete guidance. The dance floor is a visual image you can use to nip bad behavior in the bud. 

Joe, did you know that you interrupted Susan three times during the meeting? What message does that behavior convey? Are we on the same page about mutual respect? 

You don’t have to be like the FDIC and get blindsided by an employee revolt or external investigation. These two steps will close gaps in perception and boost your ability to inspire people to contribute their best to your organization’s success.

How are these steps working for you? Email me to let me know.

Chris Kolenda: Unruly Student Protests Show the Price of Double Standards

Unruly Student Protests Show the Price of Double Standards

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The universities that enforced progressive orthodoxy for years are seeing the fruits of their labor in unruly student protests. 

These protesters have taken over buildings, forced universities to cancel graduation ceremonies, barred Jewish students from campus areas, and issued threats of physical violence against them. 

One protest leader reportedly said to Columbia University administrators in January, “be glad, be grateful that I’m not just going out and murdering Zionists.” His outburst was tolerated; he was barred from campus months later when a video from the meeting went viral.  

Emotions are high on both sides of the Gaza conflict, and protests are a natural response to intense dissatisfaction. I’ve put my life on the line to defend America’s cherished right to air your views and protest policies you don’t agree with. I support the students’ rights to protest, and I disagree with how they are exercising them (especially considering the infiltration from professional agitators). Selective enforcement of the rules by university administrators created this disaster.

Many universities have bought into the crude bigotry that judges the worth of a person based on their membership in certain identity groups and created monocultures to enforce conformity. The intentional lack of viewpoint diversity has super-empowered favored groups, who’ve taken their license to its logical conclusion.

Viewpoint diversity is vital for a successful university as well as a successful business. The best companies encourage people to express their disagreements respectfully because you want people to flag problems before they become crises and offer fresh ideas that seize opportunities. If you only let favored people speak their views or shut down ideas you disagree with, you will soon find yourself trapped in a thought bubble, inhaling your own gas. 

The way forward for universities is to make sure protests meet three requirements: 

  1.  you may disagree agreeably – no intimidation or threats of harm to others
  2. you must allow all students to access campus facilities freely
  3. you may not impede university programs or functions

You can set similar rules for your business. Encourage people to disagree agreeably and give people the skills to receive new ideas and reports of problems with an open mind so everyone gets their ideas heard without fear of retribution. Prompt people to orient on your company’s common good (your mission and vision, goals and values, standards and expectations) so their disagreements create rather than impede progress.

These guidelines will help you maintain the healthy conflict that is vital to your company’s growth. 

Do you want to boost your company’s conflict management skills? 

I’ve helped motivate insurgent groups in Afghanistan to stop fighting and switch sides and even prompted the Taliban to write an open letter to the American people requesting peace talks. I’ve helped companies, nonprofits, and first responders move from intractable internal conflict to agreeable disagreement, dramatically improving performance, morale, and well-being.

Let’s set up a time to discuss whether strengthening conflict management skills would help your organization thrive. Simply send me an email or click here to find a time that works best for you. 

Chris Kolenda: Catch people doing something right.

Catch people doing something right.

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Do you want to know the #1 secret to improve performance? Catch people doing something right.

I’ve led, been led, and helped leaders for over 35 years, and how to improve performance always leads to lively discussion. I began on the wrong side of it.

I used to think constructive criticism was a leader’s most crucial role. When you root out problems, you can solve them. Problems fester when you ignore them, and your organization will rot from within. Besides, why praise someone for doing their job and meeting standards when that’s what they get paid to do?

I focused my attention on identifying problems and providing corrective action. I started to notice fewer problems but more resentment. C’mon – you’re grown people. No one’s perfect. You should be able to take some criticism and drive on.

Then I met Sergent Cline. He was Europe’s heavyweight champion powerlifter and the gunner on one of our platoon’s tanks. We called him Tiny.

Tiny, did you check the engine and transmission fluids? I asked during an inspection.

Yes, sir!

Ok, let’s take a look. 

I jumped up on the tank’s back deck, pulled the plates, and checked the fluids. Good-to-go. No problems here. I was ready to move to the next item I wanted to inspect.

Sir, that’s pretty messed up. Tiny said.

What do you mean?

You asked me if I checked the fluids. I told you I did, and you then checked behind me. Either you think I’m lying to you or that I’m incompetent. 

I’m just doing my job inspecting the tank.

It’s not about the inspecting. We want you to do that. We love showing off how good we are. When you want to check something, just do it. Don’t ask me first if I checked it. 

I was inadvertently trying to catch somebody doing something wrong. It built resentment and undermined my relationships. That discussion happened in 1988, and I’ve never forgotten the lesson. 

Searching for problems is lazy accountability. We’re hard-wired as humans to detect aberrations. It’s part of our amygdala’s fight-or-flight instinct. Problems stand out to us. 

Of course, you want to nip problems in the bud, like Sergent Cline did with me, or they become habits and much more challenging to correct. 

Avoid treating the problems you find as buried treasure. Simply ask, “How will you do it better next time?” Get the people responsible for correcting the problem involved in seeing it and developing ways to fix it. 

It’s also easy to acknowledge someone doing something extraordinary and essential to appreciate it. The challenge with only praising extraordinary performance is that most people won’t face the same circumstances or have the same capacity. As much as they’d like to repeat the behavior, they probably won’t be able to.

Acknowledging and appreciating to-standard performance is the most mentally challenging because we are hard-wired to gloss over it. You have to seek out good performance intentionally and admire it. 

One way to do this is to highlight a particular value or expectation and seek evidence for it. Note when someone’s actions exemplify your standards. “Way to go, Joe. You treated that customer’s complaint exactly right. You gave your full attention so she felt heard and used your judgment to fix the problem.”  

Catching people doing something right is your most potent behavior-shaping tool. When you acknowledge and appreciate someone’s behavior, they will repeat it and so will everyone else. 

How well is this process working for you? Email me to let me know. I love cheering your success and helping you get over obstacles.

Did you know people read my newsletter over 50% of the time? I’m thrilled that you get so much value out of it. 

You can increase your value to others by sharing what helps you grow. Whether it’s this blog or another, share it and encourage your colleagues to experience what’s valuable to you. Sharing wisdom is like a rising tide lifting all boats. 

Chris Kolenda: It’s what you’re hearing, Listen. You don’t have to suck at listening.

It’s what you’re hearing, Listen. You don’t have to suck at listening.

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Do you find yourself repeating yourself or asking others to repeat themselves? Is miscommunication a challenge at your company? This could be a result of common listening errors.

“It’s not what you heard; it’s what you’re hearing, listen.” The immortal words of deceased rap star DMX tell us, “It’s what you’re hearing, listen.”

The trouble with hearing is that it can be hard to listen. According to a 2022 Harris poll, the average company loses eight hours of productivity per week per employee due to miscommunication. That’s one day per week and 400 hours per year down the drain. At a $50 per hour wage, that’s an annual $20,000 loss. In a company with 100 employees at that average wage, you are out $2 million. As DMX might say, “Errrrrr.”

If listening skills could improve at your workplace, you definitely want to read on.

Two common listening errors are distracted listening and listening to respond. 

Distracted listening occurs when you try multitasking when someone is speaking to you. Your mind pulls in two directions. You try tapping out a coherent sentence on the keyboard or phone while Jane is telling you about a problem in marketing. You’re probably looking at your screen instead of Jane. You’re hearing, but you are not listening.

Two things happen. First, your performance at each task is terrible. Your sentence is awful, and you get a fraction of Jane’s message. You waste time rewriting the sentence and asking Jane to repeat herself or acting on an erroneous understanding. Some studies suggest that your performance while multitasking is the equivalent of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 

Second, Jane thinks you don’t care. You may have your back to her or your eyes glued to the screen, making comments like, “I’m listening … oh, that’s awful … I’ll get on it … thanks for telling me.” Jane knows you only caught part of her message, and your lack of eye contact and reflective listening is insulting. 

How do you feel when you try to talk to someone in distracted listening mode? Jane feels the same way you do.

Listening to respond is a more subtle problem I suffered for years until I learned how it affected my ability to communicate.  

Listening to respond means hearing something that triggers you, and your mind drifts into crafting your response instead of listening to the entire conversation. You might be making eye contact, but your mind is focused on what you will say instead of what the other person says.

In meetings, I would play with various arguments in my head about how to counter or support a person’s point and miss the rest of their message. When I gave my response, it was often out of step with the flow of the discussion. They moved forward; I was stuck in the past because I wanted to deliver the perfect response to something someone said ten minutes ago. I was hearing but not listening.

Listening to understand is the way to go, saving you time and boosting your credibility. When you listen to understand, you give the person speaking your undivided attention, and you ask follow-up questions to make sure what they meant and what you understood are in sync.

Most people err on the side of brevity, so you’re only getting part of the message anyway, and you need them to amplify their main points. Some great open-ended questions include:

  • Tell me more about X.
  • When Y happened, how did you feel about that?
  • Describe in more detail what you observed.
  • Help me to understand your point of view on Z.
  • Talk me through your thought process on this.

As they answer your questions, you want to make sure you understand their message (and to be sure they know you understand it), so put their point in your own words, beginning with statements or questions like Help me to know if I understand you correctly… May I summarize what I think are your key points on this matter before we move on? [The latter question works particularly well when someone is overexplaining or moving to a new point.]

When they say, “Yes, that’s exactly right,” you have mutual understanding and can co-create a way forward. [Check out my video on using RAVEN to encourage the psychological confidence of people to disagree agreeably.]

How well is listening to understand working for you? Send me an email and let me know!

Chris Kolenda: Take These Simple Steps to Improve Accountability

Take These Simple Steps to Improve Accountability

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I use a pre-event survey before delivering a keynote or off-site, and “strengthening accountability” is always at the top of issues on leaders’ minds. 

Leaders recognize the value of accountability, which means being answerable for meeting standards. Employees willing to acknowledge and own their mistakes or shortcomings are most likely to learn from them and improve continuously. By contrast, those unwilling to do so are likely to repeat errors and fail to grow.

High-ownership employees believe they have a responsibility to meet standards, and they possess the psychological confidence to own their mistakes and shortcomings. High-ownership employees will flag problems before they become crises and offer fresh ideas that help you innovate. 

Low-ownership employees, by contrast, lack belief in your standards and have poor psychological confidence. They are reluctant to admit mistakes or shortcomings because they believe you’ll throw them under the bus. They won’t identify problems or try new things because they fear failing. You’ll have difficulty helping low-ownership employees grow because they do not accept your standards. Identifying these employees and moving them on (or flagging them before you hire them) will boost morale and productivity.  

Moderate ownership employees accept your standards but are reluctant to admit mistakes or shortcomings because they have low psychological confidence. They are likely to report only problems that can be blamed on others and won’t try new things. 

Most employees have moderate ownership, and your approach to accountability will determine whether they grow into high-ownership employees or remain the same.

When you view accountability as fault-finding and blame, you reinforce an employee’s reluctance to admit mistakes and shortcomings. When you drill into people about their errors, their first instinct is to defend themselves, rationalize, and shift blame. You are more likely to build resentment than create psychological confidence and better future performance.

Here’s a better way. Ask your employee the following questions:

  1. What went well?
  2. In what ways did you improve from last time?
  3. What would you like to do better next time? How?
  4. What does ideal support from me look like?

Your high-ownership employees will identify their critical mistakes and shortcomings and develop steps to improve. Your moderate ownership employees will identify some mistakes and shortcomings. For the ones they missed, you can ask, “tell me more about X.” You want to boost their psychological confidence so they improve continuously and take the initiative to report problems, offer fresh ideas, and try new things.

Your low-ownership employees won’t recognize mistakes and shortcomings or only identify minor ones. 

In rare cases, you may have a psychologically confident employee with low buy-in for your standards. In this case, you need to discuss how the company and the employee are better off with the standards than without and find out why they are hesitant to accept them. You might find that they have a good point, and you can make commonsense adjustments.

I’d like to hear how well this approach works for you.

P.S. To help you assess the degree of psychological confidence in your organization, Dr. Mark Goulston and I developed a survey that produces your Net Psychological Confidence Score.  

You can take it here as an individual to gauge your psychological confidence level. We can also create a version customized for your organization.

When you use the survey for your organization, you’ll gain:

  • Your organization’s Net Psychological Confidence score, which you can use as a baseline for gauging progress.
  • Knowledge of what factors are playing the most significant role in your score.
  • Follow-up videos and action steps you can use immediately to strengthen your organization’s psychological confidence.
  • Greater trust, more innovation, lower turnover, and less stress as you implement these steps. 

Check out the survey here, and email Chris or schedule a call if you’d like to see if your Net Psychological Confidence Score is a good fit for your organization.

Chris Kolenda: The Fetterman Rule: How Companies Win the Struggle for Accountability

The Fetterman Rule: How Companies Win the Struggle for Accountability

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Does your company struggle with accountability? 

If so, the U.S. Senate’s recent dress code drama will help you understand the struggle and take corrective action.

If you are like most people, you prefer to avoid confrontation, but you’ll do it if necessary. This preference accounts for why many leaders wait to confront deviations from standards until they become too big to ignore.

The problem with waiting, though, is that deviations become hard to break habits. You will spend significant time and energy and pay a high emotional tax trying to break a bad habit. 

You are better off nipping the problem in the bud right away when there’s no emotional attachment to the deviation, and it hasn’t become a habit.

The best case is when your employees enforce standards among each other so you don’t have to get involved. 

This is where the Fetterman Rule comes into play: your standards are what you tolerate. 

Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman loves to dress in a hoodie and shorts; it’s reportedly part of his persona to connect with blue-collar constituents. I’ve got no opinion on his politics or how he dresses in his own home or when he’s out and about.

The U.S. Senate, however, has had an unwritten business attire dress code, and Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer tolerated Fetterman’s flaunting of it. He even planned to abolish the dress code to accommodate him. 

Worrying about the new policy’s effect, Senators voted overwhelmingly to establish business attire as the official dress code for the Senate floor.

Your best indicator of buy-in is when your employees enforce standards among each other.

Creating buy-in for standards means that people need clarity about them; they must believe that they are better off when everyone follows the standards, and there must be consequences to guard against deviation.

Do your employees enforce your company’s standards, or do you feel you’re doing it alone? 

If you’d like to get your employees more involved in accountability, schedule a call, and we can discuss what’s getting in the way and specific action steps you can take to move forward.