Imagine that you must travel for a work assignment. The Uber driver arrives at your house, and you get in the car with your luggage. You arrive at the airport, drop your bags with a skycap, greet the flight attendant, and say hello to the pilot. You settle in for a flight, having granted trust to people you likely have never met—the driver, skycap, pilot. Do you know who did the maintenance checks on the plane? My friend and colleague John O’Grady, COL, US Army (Ret), creates an insightful paradox, “We trust these people with our lives and often those of our families, without a second thought. Yet, in our most important and intimate relationships, we withhold trust. With our work colleagues, those whom we inherently rely on for success, we say, ‘You must earn my trust.'”

Why?

Perhaps the socialization of trust has been wrong. What if we granted the same level of trust to the people closest to us as we do to the drivers and pilots in our lives? Imagine having high trust relationships that start with “you have my trust, and it can only be eroded or lost” rather than a “trust must be earned” mentality. The buy-in and responsibility felt by the newly trusted employee go through the roof! So, too, does their commitment to maintaining that trust. Here are a few steps towards cultivating a culture of trust:

· Set clear expectations
· Instead of only talking about trust at the beginning of a relationship, and then again only if it is broken or lost, make trust part of your team’s everyday conversations
· Use the space between those conversations to talk about how employees are demonstrating behavior that aligns with your expectations
· When you think there may be a trust issue arising, approach it from a position of authentic curiosity instead of being accusatory; find the underlying reasons for the issue and collaboratively address them
· Maintain trust behaviors and a trusted environment before it becomes broken; be proactive

Cultivating a culture of trust is like any leader’s action: it is a choice. To create work environments where trust flourishes, we need to understand how trust works; the ways it is given, built, maintained; and how it becomes lost or broken. We can then teach ourselves how to act and react in ways that help cultivate trust, even in the most challenging situations. 

Are you hippo-like with a large mouth and little ears? Are you aggressive and searching for prey?

Leading the Middle
 
Or are you more elephant-like with a little mouth and large ears? Are you intelligent, friendly, and others like having you around? Ever notice how they use their trunk to lift others or nudge something along?
 
How does your Team see you? The chances are that you are a little bit of both.  
 
Think about the last time you grew impatient, was accusatory, and chose not to listen. Hippo.
 
Instead, be patient, curious, and listen. Elephant. Use those big ears for good.
 
Pause and think before talking, ask clarifying questions, and focus on what the other person is saying; create dialogue.
 
You are strong and powerful but know how and when to use it for the common good.
 
Lift others more and nudge those who need a push.
 
Listen more, talk less.
 
Thanks to Antonio Rodríguez Martínez for the conversation and inspiration!

As I wrapped up my stay in Colorado, resilience kept revealing itself. I treasure my talks with my 91-year dad who attributes his resilience to habits of walking, laughing, and worrying less. I spent time in my old neighborhood where I first developed a sense of Team and it has served me well. I’ve been fortunate to have been on some great athletic Teams, Army Teams, national security Teams, and leadership Teams. While resilience starts with the individual, its greatest impact is on the Team.
 
My friend and colleague Christopher Kolenda, Ph.D. developed some very useful ways to Build Team Resilience:

1. Encourage good personal habits (sleep, eating, exercise, relationships).

2. Sustain your organizational rhythm – predictability is like a stabilizer that keeps your Team centered and focused.

3. Emphasize meaningful routines so that people quickly recover a sense of normalcy and control when disaster strikes or things begin falling apart.

4. Celebrate wins – rack up small wins to build confidence and momentum.

5. Use mini-resets to regain focus – review goals, actions steps, what’s missing, in-stride adjustments. Ready. Go.

6. Coach people to be the best versions of themselves – people stick with you when they know you appreciate them as people and their contributions.

7. Ownership – no one ever washed a rental car. Create ownership in success (the mission and vision; game-plan). People are not on the Team; they are the Team. People will bounce back when they have a stake in the success.

8. Challenge – empower people to make decisions; underwrite their mistakes. Coach them to learn. Build good judgment and resilience when the stakes are low, so those qualities are present when the stakes are high.

9. Talk about good and bad events. No blame-game. What happened, why did it happen? Get the facts and agreement on the facts. What can we learn?

10. Morale is more important than mood – Mood=sugar donut, Morale=your Team’s level of confidence, enthusiasm, and discipline.
 
Lastly, set up your emerging leaders and employees for success. Get them the training, resources, and guidance to do their jobs well. If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.