Tag Archive for: management

Manager talking to team members about supportive criticism.

Improve Performance with Supportive Criticism

Here’s how supportive criticism can transform your team’s success.

Accountability’s purpose is to improve future performance. The results are readily apparent: employees meet standards, work together well, increase productivity, manage conflict, and delight customers, among other advantages.

It’s challenging to get right. There’s a good chance your subordinate leaders fall into one of two camps that undermine accountability. 

Is this topic important to you? Read on to find a fresh approach to accountability that improves future performance without awkwardness.

The 2 Unhealthy Common Approaches

Some leaders opt for the authoritarian style reminiscent of George C. Scott’s portrayal of General George S. Patton, Jr., in Patton: you make people fear you more than they fear failure, you make enormous demands, accept no excuses, chew people out, and rake them over the coals for past mistakes. 

That approach worked poorly for the real Patton, who Eisenhower fired for assaulting his own soldiers in Sicily. Patton learned his lesson, and his legendary victories after D-Day were attributable, in part, to better accountability practices. 

Others take the so-called servant leader approach, reducing their demands on employees by taking more of the burden themselves, avoiding confrontation, letting people set their own standards, and picking up the slack because they believe every failure or shortfall is their fault. 

Authoritarians have significant challenges with employee dissatisfaction and turnover, while servant leaders have burnout. Neither approach improves future performance.

What’s Wrong with How They Provide Feedback

The feedback sandwich is a common approach between the two: you try to soften the impact by saying something positive about the person, providing “constructive criticism,” and ending on a high note with more affirmation. 

This exchange between Henry and his boss, Mary (not their real names), is a typical example.

Henry, I appreciate your work here. I want to give you some feedback. You are not anticipating needs very well, and we always seem to scramble at the last minute, especially before major events and board meetings. You are supposed to go on two weeks of vacation in three days and have yet to frame the read-ahead due two weeks after you return. What you have in the shared folder is poorly formatted and not acceptable. Overall, though, you are doing great work.

What do you think about this exchange? Chances are very high that you’ve either given or received this type of feedback. 

Mary used the session to unburden her frustrations and felt better about it by sandwiching the criticism with praise.

Henry was demoralized. He concluded that Mary believes him incompetent and wants to get rid of him. He’s frustrated because Mary hasn’t set clear expectations, and their recent exchange hasn’t given him any ways to improve his performance. Just because you tell people what they are doing wrong does not mean what right looks like is apparent to them. The empty praise on either end seems disingenuous and reinforces his belief that you want to fire him.

The sins of the past focus is the biggest shortcoming of so-called constructive criticism. 

Yet, sometimes, you must highlight what went wrong with past performance to illustrate the impact and contrast it with standard-meeting performance.

How do you thread that needle?

Supportive Criticism: A 5-Step Process

Here’s a different approach, which I’m calling supportive criticism. It’s a five-step process.

  1. Note the shortfall and express confidence, “Waiting until the last minute to prepare the meeting document impedes coordination and performance. My standards for a read-ahead are very high, and I know you can meet them.”
  2. Discuss the impact: “We are inadequately prepared for the meeting because we’re making constant last-minute changes, the late read-ahead and formatting errors undermine our credibility, and we’re not getting the decisions we need from the board.”
  3. Here’s how to do it better next time.
  4. Here’s what I’m going to do to help you be successful.
  5. What does ideal support look like?

Here’s how a supportive criticism conversation could go.

Henry, I want to discuss the recent board read-ahead documents because they do not meet our quality and timeliness standards, and I am confident you can meet them (1). 

When the read-ahead is late and poorly formatted, we look unprofessional and don’t set the meeting up for success. We have to give people extra time to read the document, which reduces the discussion and coordination, and we have to punt too many decisions later, which slows our ability to get things done (2).

Next time, I’d like to see a final read-ahead copy two weeks before the meeting so we can do a final quality check, get the material in front of the board on time, and conduct pre-coordination on the key decisions (3). 

I recognize I need to do a better job of setting you up to be successful. To improve clarity, I will use the “X so that Y by when” format so you know what needs to be done, the results and outcomes I’m looking for, and the deadline. Second, let’s coordinate two check-ins beforehand so you can raise questions, show progress, and identify areas where you need additional support (4). Third, you take on a tremendous amount of work, so I want to use our weekly check-ins to ensure we’re aligned on priorities and that I’m not overloading you. What else does ideal support for you look like (5)?

Do you feel the difference in the two approaches? If you were Henry, which one would inspire you? 

Supportive criticism shows Henry what’s short of the mark, how he can do it better, and how you will help him be successful (without doing it for him like many “servant leaders” would do). 

Try this approach on for size, and let me know how it’s working for you.

I write these articles to give you the tools and action steps that get results. Although we had several leadership classes in the military, the vast majority focused on theories and principles. They all sounded good, but I often stumbled without the conscious processes to implement them. 

To help you avoid my errors, I provide you with tools (like Supportive Criticism) that turn theory into practical application. The more value you gain for free, the more likely you are to discuss ways to accelerate your success. Your commitment to getting good at getting better makes you the kind of person who’s a joy to support.

Do you want to discuss supportive criticism approaches further? Book a call.

Taylor Swift concert with large crowd.

Taylor Swift’s Advice to Leaders

Discover powerful leadership insights from Taylor Swift’s songs.

Nicole and I are diehard Swifties. Nicole went to Swift’s Warsaw concert in early August and said the magical experience was worth every penny. (Concerts are not my thing, so Duke and I watched her movie on TV.)

I draw inspiration from her songs and thought it might be fun to capture insights for you based on various titles and link them to my recent articles. 

What inspirations do you draw from her work? Reply and let me know! 

Avoid Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, and hire people likely to buy-in to your standards. Highly talented people who engage in toxic behavior are subtraction-by-addition, because they drag down the performance of their peers and others around them. Yes, their individual numbers look great, but everyone else’s suffers. Overall performance elevates once the toxic behavior is out of the picture. 

No, your business is not part of The Great War in your marketplace. I dislike most combat metaphors for business because they trivialize human suffering while providing little practical insight. The song’s focus on friendship and taking care of people offers better advice: get to know your employees as people and take care of them, and they’ll contribute their best. Your culture doesn’t eat breakfast, but it can derail the best-laid plans and most innovative ideas.

Taylor Swift concert.

Photo courtesy of Nicole Kauss.

Sometimes you are The Archer, and sometimes you are the prey. You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control your response. Resilience means bouncing forward. Avoid rewarding people based on outcomes, because sometimes those result from good or bad luck and factors beyond their control. You could unintentionally reinforce bad behavior. Look instead for how well they execute, learn, and innovate.

Awesome! You cannot spell awesome without we or me, and the “we” always comes first. At the same time, obey the gas mask principle: you have to put on your mask before trying to help others. We at the expense of me is the logical outcome of servant leadership and why you shouldn’t embrace it.

You can trace your Cruel Summer Back to December because you did not adapt your business plan to a changing marketplace. Five-year “strategic plans” are a fantasy, and besides, a strategic plan is an oxymoron. Strategic plans are an inverted Goldilocks: lacking the clarity of a strategy and the details of a plan, they’re not quite right on either count. A 3-5-year strategy gives you a longer-term view, and updating your business plan annually keeps you agile without creating hyperactivity.

You Need to Calm Down. I used to rage when I messed up or fell short. I didn’t have a bad temper; I mistakenly thought that getting upset showed that I cared and would hold myself accountable. I discovered that making new mistakes and learning from my own experience and those of others was more effective. Cutting away that behavior made me a much better leader and more fun to be around.

Genuineness is the most important part of your Style. You shouldn’t imitate The Man. Be yourself as you act on credibility’s three elements: being appropriately authoritative, consistently supportive, and an effective manager. 

Some people are just plain Mean and their toxic behavior does not make us better or more resilient. Don’t let them live in your head rent-free. Acknowledge and label their abusive behavior, commit to acting differently than they did, and imagine them floating away from you forever. I Forgot That You Existed

Complacency occurs when you do the same things over and over and expect the same results because that mentality means you are not innovating. “This is how we’ve always done it and the outcomes are All Too Well” worked for Sears, Kodak, the U.S. government in Afghanistan, and many others until their competitors innovated. 

Let me know your favorite Taylor Swift song, and I’ll reply with a leadership insight you can apply.

Manager getting burned out at work

The Problem with “Servant Leadership”

There are many reasons for increased manager burnout. I want to call attention to a particularly pernicious problem: servant leadership.

Like many people, especially in the military, I regarded “servant” as the highest form of leadership [selfless service is one of the Army’s values.]. 

After all, leading includes service to a higher purpose, the organization, and the people in it. Seventy percent of Fortune 500 companies reportedly say they practice servant leadership.

Well, servant leadership burned me out. 

I was wrong to advance an unexamined piece of conventional wisdom, and I encourage you to rethink it and focus simply on being a good leader.

Do you worry about burnout? You are not alone. According to Harvard Business Review, over 50% of managers feel burned out. 

Burned-out managers exhibit behaviors that degrade their performance, well-being, and the overall health of their teams and organizations. These include:

  • Decreased productivity
  • Increased irritability
  • Poor decisions
  • Self-neglect
  • Lower creativity
  • Less appreciation of employee efforts
  • Increased absenteeism
  • Poor communication

According to Merriam-Webster, a servant is “a person in the employ and subject to the direction or control of an individual or company.” A servant lacks agency. The implications are significant.

Ripe for Abuse. Almost anything goes when “the cause” is the highest good. 

“I want you to stay until 10 pm tonight to work on this presentation.” 

“But it’s my anniversary, and I promised to go to dinner with my wife.”

“I’m sorry about the timing. I really need you to work on this. You are a servant leader in this company, so you have to sacrifice for the greater good.”

Reliance on selfless service and servant leadership is a common way to cover up poor planning, sloppy time management, bullying, and other dysfunctional behaviors.

No Boundaries. As a selflessly serving servant, you have to be “on” at all times. Responsiveness is vital. When your boss texts you at 11 pm on Saturday night, you had better reply within minutes.

Dinner with your family? Storytime with your kids? Softball game? You’d better have your phone ready to answer your boss’s call.

When one of your employees is stressed out, you take on their emotional burdens and workload. You’ll do anything to serve your people.

Constantly prioritizing the needs of others emotionally and physically drains you. That’s what your company demands when they tell you to be a servant leader.

Denial of Self. There can be no self for those who serve selflessly. As a servant leader, you are expected to neglect your own well-being because everyone and everything else comes first. You need to go everywhere, do everything, be everyone for everyone. 

I’ve lived this life, and it costs me and my loved ones. I thought it was the price of being a leader. I tried not to pass on this mentality to my direct reports, encouraging them to set boundaries and take care of themselves, but my personal example sent mixed messages.

Yes, serving is part of leading, but so are requirements like making tough decisions, enforcing standards, and firing people. It can be exhausting, and you need to be vigilant about your capacity and energy to lead the way your company and people deserve and to be the kind of parent, sibling, friend, etc., that your loved ones deserve. 

Here’s What to do instead

Be a leader; forget the label. Use your judgment. Focus on being a good leader who inspires people to contribute their best to your organization’s success. Sometimes, the good of the organization comes first; other times, the needs of the individuals rise to the top. As I note in Leadership: The Warrior’s Art, Be trustworthy, treat people with respect, and be a good steward of your company.

Encourage the Gas Mask Principle. When facing a drop in cabin pressure or a chemical attack, apply your mask before attempting to help others. Otherwise, you put yourself and the person you are trying to help at greater risk. Spend time with your loved ones, sleep, eat right, exercise, and do important things outside of work. Encourage your employees to do the same.

Co-create boundaries that you and your direct reports respect. My mentor, Michèle Flournoy, explained how she and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates did this together and its impact on her and her family. Gates famously left the office by 5:30 pm daily because he knew that staying late encouraged others to do so, even if they had little to do but be seen. 

Provide Perspective. Most matters can wait until the next morning or next week. If you have to write that email tonight to get it off your mind, time it to send tomorrow morning. By sending it tonight, you encourage people to respond tonight. You won’t sprint your way to completing a marathon.

Manage Exceptions. There are rare times when you need that late night. When you respect boundaries and encourage people to take care of themselves and have a life outside their work, they will rise to the occasion when a crisis hits, and you need all hands on deck.

Chris Kolenda: Catch people doing something right.

Catch people doing something right.

Do you want to know the #1 secret to improve performance? Catch people doing something right.

I’ve led, been led, and helped leaders for over 35 years, and how to improve performance always leads to lively discussion. I began on the wrong side of it.

I used to think constructive criticism was a leader’s most crucial role. When you root out problems, you can solve them. Problems fester when you ignore them, and your organization will rot from within. Besides, why praise someone for doing their job and meeting standards when that’s what they get paid to do?

I focused my attention on identifying problems and providing corrective action. I started to notice fewer problems but more resentment. C’mon – you’re grown people. No one’s perfect. You should be able to take some criticism and drive on.

Then I met Sergent Cline. He was Europe’s heavyweight champion powerlifter and the gunner on one of our platoon’s tanks. We called him Tiny.

Tiny, did you check the engine and transmission fluids? I asked during an inspection.

Yes, sir!

Ok, let’s take a look. 

I jumped up on the tank’s back deck, pulled the plates, and checked the fluids. Good-to-go. No problems here. I was ready to move to the next item I wanted to inspect.

Sir, that’s pretty messed up. Tiny said.

What do you mean?

You asked me if I checked the fluids. I told you I did, and you then checked behind me. Either you think I’m lying to you or that I’m incompetent. 

I’m just doing my job inspecting the tank.

It’s not about the inspecting. We want you to do that. We love showing off how good we are. When you want to check something, just do it. Don’t ask me first if I checked it. 

I was inadvertently trying to catch somebody doing something wrong. It built resentment and undermined my relationships. That discussion happened in 1988, and I’ve never forgotten the lesson. 

Searching for problems is lazy accountability. We’re hard-wired as humans to detect aberrations. It’s part of our amygdala’s fight-or-flight instinct. Problems stand out to us. 

Of course, you want to nip problems in the bud, like Sergent Cline did with me, or they become habits and much more challenging to correct. 

Avoid treating the problems you find as buried treasure. Simply ask, “How will you do it better next time?” Get the people responsible for correcting the problem involved in seeing it and developing ways to fix it. 

It’s also easy to acknowledge someone doing something extraordinary and essential to appreciate it. The challenge with only praising extraordinary performance is that most people won’t face the same circumstances or have the same capacity. As much as they’d like to repeat the behavior, they probably won’t be able to.

Acknowledging and appreciating to-standard performance is the most mentally challenging because we are hard-wired to gloss over it. You have to seek out good performance intentionally and admire it. 

One way to do this is to highlight a particular value or expectation and seek evidence for it. Note when someone’s actions exemplify your standards. “Way to go, Joe. You treated that customer’s complaint exactly right. You gave your full attention so she felt heard and used your judgment to fix the problem.”  

Catching people doing something right is your most potent behavior-shaping tool. When you acknowledge and appreciate someone’s behavior, they will repeat it and so will everyone else. 

How well is this process working for you? Email me to let me know. I love cheering your success and helping you get over obstacles.

Did you know people read my newsletter over 50% of the time? I’m thrilled that you get so much value out of it. 

You can increase your value to others by sharing what helps you grow. Whether it’s this blog or another, share it and encourage your colleagues to experience what’s valuable to you. Sharing wisdom is like a rising tide lifting all boats. 

Time Management

Regain control of your time and life: the first principle of time management

Managing your time was the #1 response to our top challenges survey.

It was #1 for solopreneurs and microbusiness leaders and #3 for small businesses of 11-50 people.

These results are not surprising.

You probably don’t have a full-time employee to manage your calendar.

You have to run AND grow your business at the same time. You probably don’t have middle management that runs your operations while you focus on growth.

The four horses of the 2020-pocalypse: COVID, economic shutdown, social unrest, and a divisive election have created a series of urgent, existential crises.

You give and give and give to help your clients, customers, employees, family members, and causes that are important to you.

Your time is the first casualty amidst these urgent demands.

To regain control, you need to follow the first principle of time management.

Pay yourself first.

That’s right, it’s just like any sound investment strategy. Pay yourself first.

Follow these steps to get back in control of your time.

1. Block off one- to three-hour chunks of time two or three days per week. Solid chunks of time are what you need to get growth-related things done.

2. Schedule these times on your calendar so that no one but you can override them.

3. Let your team know about your “growth time” [this time also gives them predictability – they know you are not going to parachute in on them].

4. Protect these chunks of time ruthlessly. You will find that you can address the vast majority of urgent demands outside of your growth-time.

5. Avoid the checkerboard calendar, where all you have are 10-15 minutes of white space at a time. It’s not enough to get anything substantial done. Putting four or five of these short blocks together, though, gives you a chunk of time to get sh!t done.

When you use this method, you will be amazed that the number of hours you work per week does not increase. It might even decrease.

By getting rid of your checkerboard calendar, you free up time during the day to do the heavy-lifting that you normally saved until after-hours.

You and your family and your team will be a lot happier and more productive when you pay yourself first.

 What is your top time management action step? Leave a comment here to let me know.

***

If you want more action steps to regain control of your time, let’s set-up a call. You will:

1. Clarify your priorities so that you know ways to make the best use of your time and energy.

2. Uncover the hidden time and energy bandits that are robbing your bandwidth and emotional well-being so that you can put yourself back in the driver’s seat.

3. Get clear action steps using the pay yourself first principle so that you regain control of your time, talent, and energy — and your balance.

Schedule your call here or by using this link: https://callSLA.as.me/Chris.